I had planned for the worst. I wore a button up shirt and slacks, with my leather shoes and argyle pattern socks. I wore the clothes I planned to wear on the morning of January 3rd, which was exactly 13 days after this morning. I planned to be set free at 8:30 am that morning and walk to work. I did not fully appreciate how badly my undershirt would smell after thirteen days (which I still don't know). If this ever happens again, I will wear 2 pairs of socks and possibly 2 undershirts.
No judge was needed for my remand. The court clerk and a sheriff were ready. I was thanked for being on time. The officer showed some signs of rage when I asked him if I could kiss my girl real quick. He was told by the court clerk to "be nice to me" since I was on time. He was a dick but did not use any extra force.
I went out a side door in the courtroom where I had seen inmates appear in court from. Seven sheriff deputies were needed to man this section of the courthouse, apparently. As usual they would make smalltalk that would inflate their own sense of self worth and the value of their role in society. Really, they are overpaid monkeys doing a job that wouldn't even require a high school education. Looking for overtime hours and holiday pay. Time and a half, I am certain.
I'm searched, and my possessions are cataloged. I am left in my street clothes and shown to a holding cell with a toilet and two benches. Totally white, everything around me. Probably four holding cells for people who are going to court this morning. I am the first one, but soon after me, one at a time, I am joined by two Mexicans, two blacks, one kid riding a terrific heroine high, a normal looking redhead dude in a white jacket, and a long haired older guy. No one talks for the first hour, but then we get to talking. I start talking to the red head guy, who has served a few short stints behind bars. He has the best trio of Christmas presents a I could ever hope for:
1) Because of a concept known as "good time," I would certainly not serve a full 13 days, and it was much more likely I would serve 7 or 8 days. He was sure of it.
2) Whatever your release date is, you are released just after midnight the morning of. In other words, even if I did the full amount of days, I would get out in time to go home and sleep before going into work.
3) I would not be dropping a urinalysis sample on the way in. These officers were not prepared to handle that sort of administrative and logistical burden. I promised myself that this fact alone would make my term more bearable. I had stayed awake the night before worried about dropping a hot UA and the implications this would have in my case. They would add a year to my term, maybe beat me, interrogate me, put me in the hole, since I had used a small amount of marijuana the week before to celebrate my light form of probation, and to give my girl a night of really hot sex. Now, I could breath a lot easier. Maybe this would be easier than I thought.
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