Fortune

I can't walk the halls without feeling resentment at my decision to return to the desk job. The promises of the virtues of the role evaporated and the tasks have become menial. I have a new staff person, and it is sometimes more difficult to manage her work than to do it myself. I feel shame when I admit that I have returned to work on a "permanent" basis and I do not often exercise my body or my mind. I have not yet received even my first full paycheck and I am ready to leave. What the hell did I do that for?

I was grabbing a coffee yesterday, and I ran into a former colleague. I asked him how things were going for him in his life, and he stated that he is "just plugging along" and his tone and his statement and his defeat were extremely discouraging. He warned me that when Dawson is old enough, he will talk back to me. I'll be glad that I have a job so I can avoid my family and other responsibilities and miseries of life in my home.

It's a good thing I have health insurance. It might even be illegal to not have insurance, I think. I get a discount if I go through some sort of wellness screening process. It's like $50 a month discount to our family premiums.

I walk into work and my staff does not even say hi to me, or good morning. Around 4:29 every day, she quietly turns her computer off and sneaks out. She managed to sneak out without me noticing her leaving every day until today. Today I watched her sneak out the back door. She does not say goodbye to anyone.

Today's fire drill was less of a drill and more of a metaphoric fire in the building, that needed to be extinguished. As I wrote my friends on each end of this globe, I may have preferred to let the building burn down. Why did HR let me back in the building?