Sickness

235) I don't understand the mental illness my mother suffers from. I only understand that she is mentally ill.

236) Her illness affects me; I want her to be able to enjoy her life without suffering, and she can't. In fact she takes it further and tries to inflict me with her illness. When that doesn't seem to work, she tries to make it my fault, and when that doesn't work, she tries to make her illness my problem. When that doesn't work she drags yet more people into it, trying to make her illness their problem.

237) The pursuit of happiness is not a zero-sum game. We can all achieve, and in fact, the more success others have in their pursuit, the more success we can have in our own pursuit. Her illness includes a characteristic in which she believes that for one person to be happy, another must be "symmetrically" miserable.

238) An email was sent, purportedly from my mom's boyfriend ("fiancee") to he organizers of the wedding, asking, "hey dustin, is your uncle X, Uncle Y, and Uncle Z going to your bachelor's party?" So goddamn weird, and just the right thing to do to get into my head and wondering what kind of conspiracy is being hatched or thought up by my mentally ill mother and her mentally ill partner. None of my uncles (did they forget about my uncle T?) will be at this party, for there is no party and if there were a party it would be held before they got to town, and after their bedtimes.

239) To ignore the mentally ill is to infuriate them. To engage them is to throw fuel on the flames. To act as an adult would, and ask, "why might this concern you?" or, "how can I answer this in a way that actually solves your dilemma?", unfortunately, is not the appropriate action either. It may come off as patronizing. The answer would not matter either. The bachelor's party and my uncles' plans are of no concern to my mentally ill mother and her mentally ill partner. However, they are making the plans of my uncles into their problem, and now, they have decided to try and make it my problem as well.

240) I was probably wrong to ask them to email me directly with their concerns (they had asked the question in an email to the event organizer, responsible for the flowers and decorations, instead of directly to me). My tone may not sit well with them.

241) It is very tempting to "play" the game and tell them that they are not welcome at my party. They can then work to sabotage it in some way. In fact, they are not welcome at my party. I would much rather they not be there. I will need to apologize for their appearance and make excuses for the things that they will end up saying. The only respite is that they will have their own vehicle, and can storm off angrily at their leisure.

242) Maybe John wanted to know so that he could come along and get to know them better. Maybe he feels that he would want to come, but only if uncles x, y, and z are not going to come. Either of these reasons are better than no reason.