Advice, through anecdotes

My days spent racing around town on that twenty, ready to flee the cops at any moment, with $2 cash in the pocket, for spending on a cherry / raspberry mix slush puppies, finding new hits, jumping gaps, and looking at girls, those days mostly happened between the years 1995 and 2000. Those were excellent years, with a singular focus and days that were all so good and blurred together to be a continuous orgasm of mayhem and style. When I got my first twenty in 1993, would I have believed that over the next 17 years, that bike and the ones that followed (none, though, with enough legroom) would provide me with all of the true highlights of my life? I can't think of a highlight that isn't somehow related to this BMX background.

If you were wearing shin pads or gloves, you usually didn't smell very good. Constantly being covered in scabs doesn't help either. A few girls were impressed with the jumping skills, but getting them to go to the jumps was not easy. You're 16 or 17, your car doesn't have a heater, and you don't have pegs on the BMX for ferrying women around because pegs are fucking stupid. Usually you fuck girls in their cars because they have nicer cars than you, because their parents have more money and they don't spend all their cash on slush puppies and S&M slam bars or profile 3-piece cranks.

These days, though, as BMX has become more mainstream, it actually can be a part of your game. Park that bike outside the bar and drink PBR and well whiskey, to try and numb the pain you got when you fell at the skatepark before going to the baseball game. Think up crazy shit to say and try to juggle the two or three girls constantly by your side, fighting for your attention. It's easy and fun. Insist on riding home even if she's willing to drive. Cave in and throw your BMX in the back seat of her car. Pour her a fine glass of whiskey at your place as you spend half your time admiring the BMX bike in your living room and the other half of the time admiring her breasts. She won't drink the whiskey anyway; she has something else on her mind. Throw on a BMX video if it suits you. Obey her when she tells you to just fuck the hell out of her.